| There was a time when my wife was second to my | | | | 9:00 pm or later. Things were going well and it was |
| job. I was working so hard at being successful, that | | | | helping the family, at least from my point of view |
| she often got pushed down in the priority list. My kids | | | | financially. Yet my wife would occasionally refer to |
| also were last in line when it came to my job. This | | | | herself as the company's widow (meaning she never |
| was not something new in our life. When my wife and | | | | got to see me). She was growing angry again and not |
| I first met, she would often see me up in the morning | | | | being on the priority list over my job. I argued that she |
| before her, on the computer. Then I would leave for | | | | was on the priority list and that's why I was working so |
| my day job, and when I returned home, it was eat, | | | | hard for her and the family. She didn't buy it and it only |
| then back to the computer. For me I was working on a | | | | made her angrier to hear that. I did not understand, and |
| future for us. For her, it meant she was last, behind my | | | | neither did she. I remember one day she had four |
| job, the computer, bills, friends, etc. We never did dates. | | | | molars removed with dental surgery and I dropped her |
| We just did not have the money. | | | | at home in the care of our oldest, and went to work. I |
| So, finally, one day I pulled my head out of the | | | | could not afford to miss that day for some reason, |
| computer and realized my family had moved out | | | | that I could not give you today! Must not have been |
| without me. It took them doing that for me to realize | | | | that important after all! |
| that my priorities were out of whack. I revaluated | | | | Then my boss shared with me a set of tapes that |
| things and quit putting the computer on top. It took | | | | changed my life for the forever. He loaned me a set |
| some readjusting, but it was well worth it. I had to fix | | | | of cassette tapes that followed the book "The 7 |
| things and get my family back. It took some time to | | | | Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. |
| convince my wife at the time that the computer was | | | | Covey. I listened to those tapes at least three or four |
| not on the top of my priorities any longer, and within a | | | | times. It helped me realize that my life was out of |
| few weeks we were getting back together on a daily | | | | balance. It was with those tapes and some counseling |
| basis. I wasn't a bad husband or provider. I just had my | | | | that I knew my priorities were still misguided. I have |
| priorities a little warped. Within a few months we were | | | | been working on finding a balance ever since. |
| living together again. | | | | Today, my wife and I have regular dates. If she or I |
| Not too long after that, I received an opportunity for a | | | | say we can not afford it, the other reminds us we can |
| job in the computer field. I interviewed and was | | | | not afford not to. They are a regular occurrence for |
| accepted. The pay was better and it was closer to | | | | us these days, more often than not. You can see a |
| our home. Previously I was driving for a copier repair | | | | recent date she planned on our about page. When my |
| company, which had me all over town in my own car. | | | | family needs me, I'm there, work can wait. When my |
| Not something I enjoyed significantly, but it paid the bills. | | | | work needs me, I'm there and my family doesn't mind |
| I moved into a position doing phone support for an | | | | waiting (these days). |
| outsourcing company. At that time it mattered if you | | | | Sometimes finding the balance is not so easy, but I |
| solved the customer's issue, more than it does today. | | | | realize that when I am dead, they won't have pictures |
| However, the outsourcing company only cared how | | | | of me on the walls at my work. They won't tell stories |
| many calls you took, not if you fixed the customers | | | | of all that I did. However, I can not say the same for |
| issue. That still pretty much holds true today. However, | | | | my family! |
| that's a subject for another article! I learned a lot | | | | If you have a husband or wife, and your romantic |
| working for that company, and I was always home on | | | | dates are filled with them reading emails from work on |
| time, and did more things with the wife. Life was | | | | their cell phone, laptop, or other internet enabled device. |
| improving, but it was still a struggle for our family of | | | | Share the book, tapes, or CD with them. Do not allow |
| five. | | | | them to interrupt more that 1 hour a day when you are |
| A few years later I moved into a company that was | | | | on vacation, or on a long romantic date. If they can not |
| more professional, and they recognized when you did | | | | honor a request that simple, ask them if the person |
| a good job by promoting you, complimenting you, | | | | they are talking to will be telling stories of them when |
| bonuses, etc. It was addictive and I had a talent for the | | | | they are dead. Will they too hang pictures on the wall |
| position I was in, so I gave it my all. Some days I was | | | | in memory of all that they accomplished? Likely not! |
| up at 9:00 am in the morning, and didn't return home till | | | | Will you? |
